My friend suggested that Gabe and I throw a packing party. I thought that was a great idea and it turned out to be a smash. I had fun, and I think every one felt as though they had accomplished something. And they most certainly did! My kitchen is completely packed. Which is no small feat as the kitchen is HUGE. As in, it has a couch and full dining room table in it.
It was as good as a Christmas present as any of them could've given me. And as my time as a regular Burbankian draws to a close, every opportunity to spend time with my pals is precious.
We're off to Phoenix today to cash in on a wedding present. My mom got us tickets to a Rams game, playing the Cardinals. It should be great fun, love the live sports!!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wheeeeeeeeee!
Luckily, I am not in charge of this whole moving thing. That honor belongs to Gabe, which is fine by me. If I were team captain, we would've started packing in November and not gotten anything really done until January 1st. There would be a lot more fretting and sleepless nights.
It's weird and wonderful to be so completely trusting in another person. So much so that moving my life to a different location is gladly thrust into his hands. I'm not saying that I couldn't do it on my own, or that I'm a helpless girlie. Y'all just know that ain't true. But I am happy to do my part in this marriage and let him do his.
On a different note, I have been officially off of work for 2 days now and I am proud to say I already forgot what day it was one time! That's my favorite part of long vacations: completely disregarding clocks and schedules. When I'm working I am all about times and dates, which day of the week I have a free minute to do what ever I need to get done.
This feels really good, to be free for a while. And not knowing exactly what the future holds is more exciting now that the "future" I've been talking about for so long has technically arrived. Like I have found again and again, when I am willing to take that leap of faith all kinds of possibilities become available.
I'm so happy to be having this experience. Life feels all new and fresh. I am learning new ways to love and trust. I am open to the possibilities. I am free, yet secure. I am practically effervescing! As if you couldn't tell. Wheeeeeee!
It's weird and wonderful to be so completely trusting in another person. So much so that moving my life to a different location is gladly thrust into his hands. I'm not saying that I couldn't do it on my own, or that I'm a helpless girlie. Y'all just know that ain't true. But I am happy to do my part in this marriage and let him do his.
On a different note, I have been officially off of work for 2 days now and I am proud to say I already forgot what day it was one time! That's my favorite part of long vacations: completely disregarding clocks and schedules. When I'm working I am all about times and dates, which day of the week I have a free minute to do what ever I need to get done.
This feels really good, to be free for a while. And not knowing exactly what the future holds is more exciting now that the "future" I've been talking about for so long has technically arrived. Like I have found again and again, when I am willing to take that leap of faith all kinds of possibilities become available.
I'm so happy to be having this experience. Life feels all new and fresh. I am learning new ways to love and trust. I am open to the possibilities. I am free, yet secure. I am practically effervescing! As if you couldn't tell. Wheeeeeee!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Ahhhhhh...
I can't seem to find the words that describe how happy I am that it's Friday.
So I am reduced to this:
Yeeeeeeeee-HAW!
WHOOPEE!
YAY YAY YAY!
Sorry I'm usually not this incoherent... but this is my last Friday at the Glendale frame. EVER!
There. Ever. I said it.
So I am reduced to this:
Yeeeeeeeee-HAW!
WHOOPEE!
YAY YAY YAY!
Sorry I'm usually not this incoherent... but this is my last Friday at the Glendale frame. EVER!
There. Ever. I said it.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Surreal life
Yesterday my co-workers surprised me with a going away present. It was very sweet, considering how cranky I've been with all of them during my time here. I am realizing that I am getting better at keeping my opinions to myself, both verbally and non-verbally (i.e. I don't roll my eyes at people any more). That must make me a much more pleasant person!
At any rate, it's becoming very surreal that I am 22 working hours away from being out of this place I've worked in most of the past 8 years. I'm not sad to leave it, it's not the cheeriest of places. No windows, cement floors and fluorescent lighting. I've had a difficult time with some of my co-workers, and although that seems to be getting better I'll still be glad to move on from here. Also, there is no company parking (or street parking!) so we must fend for ourselves.
The brightest spot for me at this work location has been my boss. She's also in recovery so we speak the same language. I get all my work done and do it well and she lets me read at my desk with out any hassle. I'll be sorry to lose her guidance and support.
The point is: I'm leaving this office! I can't bring myself to say forever yet. Maybe it's superstitious nonsense but I just can't say it yet. I don't really believe it yet. Yet, yet, yet. Give me some time away and I think I'll change my tune. Heh, heh.
At any rate, it's becoming very surreal that I am 22 working hours away from being out of this place I've worked in most of the past 8 years. I'm not sad to leave it, it's not the cheeriest of places. No windows, cement floors and fluorescent lighting. I've had a difficult time with some of my co-workers, and although that seems to be getting better I'll still be glad to move on from here. Also, there is no company parking (or street parking!) so we must fend for ourselves.
The brightest spot for me at this work location has been my boss. She's also in recovery so we speak the same language. I get all my work done and do it well and she lets me read at my desk with out any hassle. I'll be sorry to lose her guidance and support.
The point is: I'm leaving this office! I can't bring myself to say forever yet. Maybe it's superstitious nonsense but I just can't say it yet. I don't really believe it yet. Yet, yet, yet. Give me some time away and I think I'll change my tune. Heh, heh.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Countdowns aplenty
I have been in therapy for 10 years, seeing the same woman the whole time. I started seeing her when I was 21 years old. I was not sane. I saw her 2 times a week for a while, I think on two separate occasions. I used to go into our Saturday morning sessions so drunk from the night before that I couldn't sit up in the chair.
Last night we had our final regular therapy session, and it was very emotional. It's strange to look into the face of some one who knows all your deepest crap and not be afraid or ashamed. I feel happy, free and able. She said she was very proud of how far I had come.
Looking back, I see a road paved with all the help and support of not only my therapist, but the friends I have made in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have no fear that anything that I hold dear will slip away from me when I move. I have no fear that I'm going to forget or be forgotten.
Whew! I feel all emotional and stuff.
Last night we had our final regular therapy session, and it was very emotional. It's strange to look into the face of some one who knows all your deepest crap and not be afraid or ashamed. I feel happy, free and able. She said she was very proud of how far I had come.
Looking back, I see a road paved with all the help and support of not only my therapist, but the friends I have made in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have no fear that anything that I hold dear will slip away from me when I move. I have no fear that I'm going to forget or be forgotten.
Whew! I feel all emotional and stuff.
Monday, December 17, 2007
It's raining in my kitchen
Wow what a great party Saturday night. I've hardly been able to wait to write about it, but I was hoping to have some pictures. Oh well, I can't wait any longer!
I had super amounts of fun at our send-off party Saturday night. We have an amazing group of people in our lives! And although it's only 3 hours away, right now it seems awfully far. I've had a lot of reassurance that it's not, and that true friendships stand the test of distance.
Any way, the party was awesome. Good food, great friends and a lot of laughter. Every one looked happy and although I didn't get to talk to anyone as much as I wanted, hopefully no one felt neglected or ignored. And did I say the food was good? YUM
There was video camera set up upstairs for people to say little good-bye messages to us. We're going to wait til we're up there to look at it. It should be funny if not a little sentimental.
And after almost every one left, we played this game called Apples to Apples. If you haven't played it, you might want to soon. It's SO cool. I almost lost my voice from yelling so much. It's not a quiet game...
Sunday morning I woke up and went to the fridge for my morning diet Coke, only to have water fall on me from the ceiling. I had to wake up Gabe to a little mini-waterfall in the kitchen. Then I had to leave and when I came home there were to moderately large holes in the ceiling. They might actually have to get bigger... Ugh, plumbing. But at least this happened while we're still here, and not when the new tenants just moved in and us 3 hours away!
Always something to be grateful for... always. I had a whole weekend of grateful. I'm chock full today too.
I had super amounts of fun at our send-off party Saturday night. We have an amazing group of people in our lives! And although it's only 3 hours away, right now it seems awfully far. I've had a lot of reassurance that it's not, and that true friendships stand the test of distance.
Any way, the party was awesome. Good food, great friends and a lot of laughter. Every one looked happy and although I didn't get to talk to anyone as much as I wanted, hopefully no one felt neglected or ignored. And did I say the food was good? YUM
There was video camera set up upstairs for people to say little good-bye messages to us. We're going to wait til we're up there to look at it. It should be funny if not a little sentimental.
And after almost every one left, we played this game called Apples to Apples. If you haven't played it, you might want to soon. It's SO cool. I almost lost my voice from yelling so much. It's not a quiet game...
Sunday morning I woke up and went to the fridge for my morning diet Coke, only to have water fall on me from the ceiling. I had to wake up Gabe to a little mini-waterfall in the kitchen. Then I had to leave and when I came home there were to moderately large holes in the ceiling. They might actually have to get bigger... Ugh, plumbing. But at least this happened while we're still here, and not when the new tenants just moved in and us 3 hours away!
Always something to be grateful for... always. I had a whole weekend of grateful. I'm chock full today too.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Family Portrait
Recently my sister in law turned twenty-something (I'll never tell 'em, Mia) and we went out for dinner. We didn't think the camera was working, so we all got extremely relaxed about the photo-taking. I love this picture, it reminds me of family, love and fun. I thought I'd share it with you and hope you have an evening like this with people you enjoy sometime very, very soon.
Dude.
I'm SO excited. I'm SO sad. I'm SO not looking forward to packing. I'm SO looking forward to moving forward. I'm SO everything.
Last night was the first time that I sat in my normal Tuesday night women's meeting and thought about not being there every week. That led to a little weepiness. Hey, I'm a crier, I'm all right with it (mostly). Then my sponsor called me and was nice to me and that just sent me over the edge. It's hard to let people be gentle and loving. It makes me feel vulnerable. But if I've learned anything over the past 5 years or so, women have a certain way of loving that makes me feel safe enough to just go ahead and cry.
So I did.
Last night was the first time that I sat in my normal Tuesday night women's meeting and thought about not being there every week. That led to a little weepiness. Hey, I'm a crier, I'm all right with it (mostly). Then my sponsor called me and was nice to me and that just sent me over the edge. It's hard to let people be gentle and loving. It makes me feel vulnerable. But if I've learned anything over the past 5 years or so, women have a certain way of loving that makes me feel safe enough to just go ahead and cry.
So I did.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Deeply sleepy
I'm so tired today. It's hard for me to get to sleep on time, considering "on time" would be some where around 9 o'clock. Forget that! The past 8 years at this new position, my hours have gotten earlier and earlier. I am now scheduled to work 6am-2:30pm. Yikes!
I shoot for 10pm but somehow it's always closer to 11 by the time I actually get into bed. Thankfully, once I decide to go to sleep I'm instantly comatose. It's a gift, really.
Now, I'm a night owl and get a hoot (sorry) out of staying up as late as possible. It seems to me I'm going against my very nature by getting in bed anytime before midnight. But because I like to worry about things that haven't happened yet, I've decided to have anxiety about getting to set my own hours.
I have learned to appreciate being up before any one else: no traffic, no lines at the grocery store or mall, clean air and maybe a majestic sunrise or two. I like having a lot of day left when I get off of work. But then again, I probably won't be working anywhere near as much as I do now. So who cares when my day starts and ends?
Me. I am afraid of so many silly things. They're so silly, I can't even tell you about them. Just trust me, they're ridiculous.
What it really is, is that I'm having so much fun and I'm loving life so much that I really want my cake and eat it too. Up early, bed late and then nap during the day. That's what I do now. Unfortunately, I'm not 23 anymore and my body actually shuts down on me and like a donkey refuses to move forward.
So once again, it's all about balance and taking care of myself. I swear this spiritual stuff leaves no stone unturned, no avenue of life unexamined. Thank goodness!
I shoot for 10pm but somehow it's always closer to 11 by the time I actually get into bed. Thankfully, once I decide to go to sleep I'm instantly comatose. It's a gift, really.
Now, I'm a night owl and get a hoot (sorry) out of staying up as late as possible. It seems to me I'm going against my very nature by getting in bed anytime before midnight. But because I like to worry about things that haven't happened yet, I've decided to have anxiety about getting to set my own hours.
I have learned to appreciate being up before any one else: no traffic, no lines at the grocery store or mall, clean air and maybe a majestic sunrise or two. I like having a lot of day left when I get off of work. But then again, I probably won't be working anywhere near as much as I do now. So who cares when my day starts and ends?
Me. I am afraid of so many silly things. They're so silly, I can't even tell you about them. Just trust me, they're ridiculous.
What it really is, is that I'm having so much fun and I'm loving life so much that I really want my cake and eat it too. Up early, bed late and then nap during the day. That's what I do now. Unfortunately, I'm not 23 anymore and my body actually shuts down on me and like a donkey refuses to move forward.
So once again, it's all about balance and taking care of myself. I swear this spiritual stuff leaves no stone unturned, no avenue of life unexamined. Thank goodness!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Job opportunities
When I was 18, I got a job at the phone company where my mom worked. At that point, I had no ambitions, no desire to do anything to make money to have a roof over my head and some cash to party with. Liking one's job was a foreign concept, and any type of competitive career was not interesting to me. I was simply resigned to being a permanent fixture on the employee roster at Pacific Bell. I wasn't particularly bummed out about it either. It was a good job with great benefits, PacBell payed well and it was a union gig.
It never occured to me that all that "it's a good job" stuff was a rationalization for staying in a place that really was making me miserable. I'm not happy with what is now AT&T. I never was, but I didn't see an alternative to being there for ever, so I just told myself that everything was "fine."
Now I realize that part of the happy, fulfilled life I've been trying to live for the past 8 years means doing something with my time that actually makes me happy and fulfilled. I never thought what I wanted to be when I grew up. Gabe is the one who fostered my ability to look outside the box with what I am going to do with my precious time.
I realized my husband was right, that I'm not a drone. That yes, I can technically retire from the phone company at 48, but that's 17 years away. Do I really see myself being at AT&T for another 2 decades? The old scared me says YES, but that is a rapidly diminishing character trait, being replaced by a faith-filled me going "Oh hell no." It's taken a lot of people's support and input, but I seem to be in an open-minded, willing spot.
So Friday I emailed Weight Watchers to inquire about their job opportunities in the area I am relocating to. I am very excited that I found the courage to do that, and that I'm actually interested in seeing if it's a good fit for me. I found some ambition!
I'll let you know what happens.
It never occured to me that all that "it's a good job" stuff was a rationalization for staying in a place that really was making me miserable. I'm not happy with what is now AT&T. I never was, but I didn't see an alternative to being there for ever, so I just told myself that everything was "fine."
Now I realize that part of the happy, fulfilled life I've been trying to live for the past 8 years means doing something with my time that actually makes me happy and fulfilled. I never thought what I wanted to be when I grew up. Gabe is the one who fostered my ability to look outside the box with what I am going to do with my precious time.
I realized my husband was right, that I'm not a drone. That yes, I can technically retire from the phone company at 48, but that's 17 years away. Do I really see myself being at AT&T for another 2 decades? The old scared me says YES, but that is a rapidly diminishing character trait, being replaced by a faith-filled me going "Oh hell no." It's taken a lot of people's support and input, but I seem to be in an open-minded, willing spot.
So Friday I emailed Weight Watchers to inquire about their job opportunities in the area I am relocating to. I am very excited that I found the courage to do that, and that I'm actually interested in seeing if it's a good fit for me. I found some ambition!
I'll let you know what happens.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Tagged?
I have been tagged. I'm not quite sure what that means exactly but apparently I must now give you 7 random facts about myself.
Here they are in no specific order:
1. I love my family more than I ever thought I would. I used to feel like I didn't belong to them or with them at all, and now all I want to do is spend time with them, talk to them and generally show them I love them.
2. Here's an obvious one: I'm a really sappy person.
3. I love smells. Pumpkin, tuberose and cinnamon buns top my list right now.
4. I just came from an AA anniversary party, celebrating a friend's 4th year of sobriety.
5. I have a hot pink rug, robe and towels in my bathroom. I just fell in love with hot pink one day recently and got inspired to literally bathe in it.
6. I watch more sports than you probably ever will, or ever even want to. Go Lakers! Go Angels! Go Green Bay!
7. From the second I met him, my husband has always been my favorite person. Even when we didn't talk for a year, I just adored him from afar.
Here they are in no specific order:
1. I love my family more than I ever thought I would. I used to feel like I didn't belong to them or with them at all, and now all I want to do is spend time with them, talk to them and generally show them I love them.
2. Here's an obvious one: I'm a really sappy person.
3. I love smells. Pumpkin, tuberose and cinnamon buns top my list right now.
4. I just came from an AA anniversary party, celebrating a friend's 4th year of sobriety.
5. I have a hot pink rug, robe and towels in my bathroom. I just fell in love with hot pink one day recently and got inspired to literally bathe in it.
6. I watch more sports than you probably ever will, or ever even want to. Go Lakers! Go Angels! Go Green Bay!
7. From the second I met him, my husband has always been my favorite person. Even when we didn't talk for a year, I just adored him from afar.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
No big news, for once
Well, I don't have any birth or home announcements, and no pictures to share today (yet). But I love this blogging thing! I'm so happy I started it. Thanks to all who helped me have the guts to try. I don't have any political agenda or any thought that what I'm saying is really all that important. But I do feel like it's a good way to let people know what's going on, and even find out what's going on with myself. Very illuminating...
I saw my cousin's baby again yesterday, she's beautiful although not a great conversationalist. We'll give that some time though. I really feel this sense of, not urgency, but strong desire to be there for my cousin as much as I can right now. As of now, I can offer my physical presence, and I won't be able to in a few weeks. I don't know if I'm helping her at all, but at least I am there if I can be of some assistance.
That holds true with my friends, too. I want to see them more and do the hanging out thing. It's not like we're never coming back down here, and I'm only going to be 3 hours away. BUT! I've never done this before, so I don't truly know what it's going to be like.
Such an adventure!
I saw my cousin's baby again yesterday, she's beautiful although not a great conversationalist. We'll give that some time though. I really feel this sense of, not urgency, but strong desire to be there for my cousin as much as I can right now. As of now, I can offer my physical presence, and I won't be able to in a few weeks. I don't know if I'm helping her at all, but at least I am there if I can be of some assistance.
That holds true with my friends, too. I want to see them more and do the hanging out thing. It's not like we're never coming back down here, and I'm only going to be 3 hours away. BUT! I've never done this before, so I don't truly know what it's going to be like.
Such an adventure!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Score!
So, more happy news! We got the place we were trying to rent. It looks pretty nice, and although I've never seen it, I trust Gabe's taste and he thinks it's pretty special. I think it's nice to have a vision of where we're going. It's so pretty!
I am a little apprehensive. It's just another proof that we're moving, that it's definitely happening, that I'm going to live somewhere other than Burbank. I know there are no big deals, but this feels like at least a moderately-sized deal. So I'm treating it as such, I'm trying to have a hands-off approach while doing the footwork. It seems to be keeping me calm so far.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Gabe's home!
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So, my husband is home. After 5 days of manning the store and house hunting, he is returned to me.And it seems like we're going to get the place we want. We're supposed to find out tomorrow whether or not we got it. I would love it, it's a beautiful house. At least it is from the pics I've seen, and Gabe is really high on it.
I've posted a sample picture from our formal wedding shots. It's one of my favorites but it's pretty hard to chose which one I like best. Thank you Jenn, you did an awesome job!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Happy but rant-y
So much joy, two new babies!
I'm so happy where I am right now, newly wed and about to make a big move. I don't feel the need to complicate my life or make chaos like I used to. I know people love me and are just curious about my future plans.
BUT! It's hard to keep smiling when we just answered the "when's the wedding" question and (I swear!) immediately it's the "when are you having kids" question.
It's funny that people seemed shocked that Kim got pregnant so soon after she was married, considering that I've been married 5 months and have been asked "when, when, when" from day one. I know that's what Kim wanted to do, but Gabe and I are making some pretty big changes right now, and having a child (or 2!) is not tops on our agenda right this minute.
Ok, ok so I'm a little grumbly today. I don't feel all that good and I desperately miss my husband. He's been gone since Sunday and while I really filled up my schedule to keep from getting lonely, it's just not the same when he's not around. So I'm happy that he's returning to me this afternoon/evening.
I'm so happy where I am right now, newly wed and about to make a big move. I don't feel the need to complicate my life or make chaos like I used to. I know people love me and are just curious about my future plans.
BUT! It's hard to keep smiling when we just answered the "when's the wedding" question and (I swear!) immediately it's the "when are you having kids" question.
It's funny that people seemed shocked that Kim got pregnant so soon after she was married, considering that I've been married 5 months and have been asked "when, when, when" from day one. I know that's what Kim wanted to do, but Gabe and I are making some pretty big changes right now, and having a child (or 2!) is not tops on our agenda right this minute.
Ok, ok so I'm a little grumbly today. I don't feel all that good and I desperately miss my husband. He's been gone since Sunday and while I really filled up my schedule to keep from getting lonely, it's just not the same when he's not around. So I'm happy that he's returning to me this afternoon/evening.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Morgan
Perfect! Good job, Kim and Daric. Apparently, I have done a good job naming my blog. These are happy, happy times.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Preparations have begun
I party planned with my girlfriends on Sunday, and not only are my friends the coolest thing ever, they also have very good party ideas. Gabe and I are going to have a rockin' send-off! And while I am sad to go I just LOVE a party, especially when I have a say on the guest list.
So between party planning and house hunting, everything is kind of coming to a head. Even the stubbornest of my in denial friends are beginning to come around to the fact that the move is actually happening.
Yay! Boo! I don't remember a time I've been more divided. I'm hardly ambivalent, but I AM undecided on what's "best." Which is unusual for me as I am very opinionated. I guess I'm realizing that I've made the choices, and the results of those choices are not up to me. I have to rely on a power greater than myself to figure out the outcome.
And I am remembering that it's the journey, and not the destination, that I am here for. So I'm trying to spend a lot of time with my friends, enjoy the holiday season and just generally remain present and concious of my current surroundings. Soakin' up the love!
So between party planning and house hunting, everything is kind of coming to a head. Even the stubbornest of my in denial friends are beginning to come around to the fact that the move is actually happening.
Yay! Boo! I don't remember a time I've been more divided. I'm hardly ambivalent, but I AM undecided on what's "best." Which is unusual for me as I am very opinionated. I guess I'm realizing that I've made the choices, and the results of those choices are not up to me. I have to rely on a power greater than myself to figure out the outcome.
And I am remembering that it's the journey, and not the destination, that I am here for. So I'm trying to spend a lot of time with my friends, enjoy the holiday season and just generally remain present and concious of my current surroundings. Soakin' up the love!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Holiday ramblings of love and gratitude
Okay, I admit it. I love the holidays.
It has not always been this way! In fact, quite the opposite. The holidays themselves are exactly the same, but my opinion of them has been changed by a few things. One of which is the pleasure of giving gifts.
Boy do I love buying people presents. Stuff that reminds me of them (or reminds them of me!), or that I think that they shouldn't have to live without. Stuff they wouldn't buy themselves. I like the thinking of others, the looks on their faces when they open the present, the feeling of satisfaction I get when I've nailed it.
And, to put it even more simply, I love SHOPPING!
Another reason I've grown so fond of the last two months of the year is that I've really learned to appreciate the people in my life, family and friends. Thanksgiving and Christmas are good times to really get how important it is to cherish what I have. I try to do it all year long, but hey, nobody's that good.
This is our first Christmas as a married couple, which makes it feel extra special. I have new relatives because of it, a sister and a dad. I am so stoked!
I hope what ever your view is of the holidays, you get the most out of the last of 2007.
It has not always been this way! In fact, quite the opposite. The holidays themselves are exactly the same, but my opinion of them has been changed by a few things. One of which is the pleasure of giving gifts.
Boy do I love buying people presents. Stuff that reminds me of them (or reminds them of me!), or that I think that they shouldn't have to live without. Stuff they wouldn't buy themselves. I like the thinking of others, the looks on their faces when they open the present, the feeling of satisfaction I get when I've nailed it.
And, to put it even more simply, I love SHOPPING!
Another reason I've grown so fond of the last two months of the year is that I've really learned to appreciate the people in my life, family and friends. Thanksgiving and Christmas are good times to really get how important it is to cherish what I have. I try to do it all year long, but hey, nobody's that good.
This is our first Christmas as a married couple, which makes it feel extra special. I have new relatives because of it, a sister and a dad. I am so stoked!
I hope what ever your view is of the holidays, you get the most out of the last of 2007.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The baby race has a winner!
Well, that's not actually confirmed yet... but it's an inevitability. My husband's business partner told us that the doctor decided to induce his wife's labor at about 6pm last night. So we're just waiting for Sam Jr. to arrive, pretty much at any minute.
It's very exciting for a few reasons! There's the obvious: a baby being born can be a joyous occasion and in this case it definitely is. BUT there's also the implications on our life that didn't occur to me right away, until my husband mentioned house-hunting while he's up there manning the store. Eek!
This is becoming all too real. I am really looking forward to a fresh start, and for once I'm not leaving burning wreckage in my wake. Still, it's an unknown to me, what will it be like to live in a completely different place? One where I don't automatically know where the grocery store or gas station is, one where I only know three people total, one where all my other friends are three hours away.
In some ways, I can't wait to get the ball rolling in the new place. At the same time, I love the life we're living now.
I have this feeling of security and permanence that was an unexpected gift of marriage, trust and hope for the future like I've never had before. But mixed in with that is this feeling of impermanence of my surroundings. It's the weirdest mix of feelings I've had in a long time. But I'm happy that my husband and I have made a big, life-changing choice together, and that we're seeing it come to fruition slowly but surely.
It's very exciting for a few reasons! There's the obvious: a baby being born can be a joyous occasion and in this case it definitely is. BUT there's also the implications on our life that didn't occur to me right away, until my husband mentioned house-hunting while he's up there manning the store. Eek!
This is becoming all too real. I am really looking forward to a fresh start, and for once I'm not leaving burning wreckage in my wake. Still, it's an unknown to me, what will it be like to live in a completely different place? One where I don't automatically know where the grocery store or gas station is, one where I only know three people total, one where all my other friends are three hours away.
In some ways, I can't wait to get the ball rolling in the new place. At the same time, I love the life we're living now.
I have this feeling of security and permanence that was an unexpected gift of marriage, trust and hope for the future like I've never had before. But mixed in with that is this feeling of impermanence of my surroundings. It's the weirdest mix of feelings I've had in a long time. But I'm happy that my husband and I have made a big, life-changing choice together, and that we're seeing it come to fruition slowly but surely.
Monday, November 19, 2007
A good weekend
The retreat was wonderful, Father Terry brilliant and funny. I am feeling relaxed and happy that I am in a good place. I spent the weekend with some women who really help me to feel centered and grounded. I roomed with a woman I'm sponsoring and we talked and played cribbage and generally bonded.
And then I came home to my husband, and we went and took formal wedding photos at the beach! My photographer (http://jenniferjasso.com if you're looking) was fun and full of ideas. She was also pretty happy as she'd just gotten engaged to my old roommate the previous evening. Congratulations, Mike and Jen!!
You will see some formal wedding pictures as soon as I have them in my hands and figure out how to post them.
Here come the holidays in all their chaotic glory! I am ready and willing to participate in the festivities, although food is always an issue... two months of "oh just this once" can add up to quite a few pounds. I am looking forward to focusing on my family, football and anything else that doesn't include calories. It's hard because I just love to eat. LOVE IT. But I hope to make it to the new year in the same clothing size, so I will just have to make good choices. *sigh*
And then I came home to my husband, and we went and took formal wedding photos at the beach! My photographer (http://jenniferjasso.com if you're looking) was fun and full of ideas. She was also pretty happy as she'd just gotten engaged to my old roommate the previous evening. Congratulations, Mike and Jen!!
You will see some formal wedding pictures as soon as I have them in my hands and figure out how to post them.
Here come the holidays in all their chaotic glory! I am ready and willing to participate in the festivities, although food is always an issue... two months of "oh just this once" can add up to quite a few pounds. I am looking forward to focusing on my family, football and anything else that doesn't include calories. It's hard because I just love to eat. LOVE IT. But I hope to make it to the new year in the same clothing size, so I will just have to make good choices. *sigh*
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Relax already
So some days, you just have to put your robe on over your schlumpy clothes at 4pm and just give up. Yesterday was that day for me.
Three days ago I named my blog "happy times" and then yesterday I'm mired in a pessimistic, depressive toxic goo. WTH? All the things I saw were going so well, and all the positivity I felt was just *poof* gone.
This retreat I'm going on, you know, the one where I get to totally relax? Well, it's stressing me out. The irony is not lost on me. But I realize I get this way every time a retreat rolls around. I try so hard to make it perfect and get everything organized that I drive myself crazy. So I'm trying to loosen up and let the chips fall where they may.
Good idea for life in general, actually.
Three days ago I named my blog "happy times" and then yesterday I'm mired in a pessimistic, depressive toxic goo. WTH? All the things I saw were going so well, and all the positivity I felt was just *poof* gone.
This retreat I'm going on, you know, the one where I get to totally relax? Well, it's stressing me out. The irony is not lost on me. But I realize I get this way every time a retreat rolls around. I try so hard to make it perfect and get everything organized that I drive myself crazy. So I'm trying to loosen up and let the chips fall where they may.
Good idea for life in general, actually.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Here we go!
Well, here I go on a new frontier!
Hello to every one.
I would like to get my first post out of the way so I can relax about it.
So here it is.
Uh....
My husband suggested I get a blog to help me feel closer to my friends when we move. I am excited and nervous about the move (and the blog!) but am extremely hopeful about starting life in a new place.
But for now, I'm just going to try to enjoy the holidays and my friends for the rest of the time I am here.
I'm going on a spiritual retreat this weekend, and am so looking forward to it. It's become a tradition for me these past few years, to get away from my life and examine it from a bit of distance. I went for the first time about 5 years ago when I was in a really dark place. I talked and laughed with a bunch of women that I'd never really knew before and they saved my behind.
Now when I go to the retreat, I spend time with those women, that I don't get to see much in "real" life, and get to remember why I enjoy their company, and how important and influential they have been in my life and sanity.
I also get a chance to read and write and really relax with out feeling like I should be up and doing something. All in all, it's a great thing for me to do.
In fact, I enjoy it so much that I think that every one should try it at least once.
Hello to every one.
I would like to get my first post out of the way so I can relax about it.
So here it is.
Uh....
My husband suggested I get a blog to help me feel closer to my friends when we move. I am excited and nervous about the move (and the blog!) but am extremely hopeful about starting life in a new place.
But for now, I'm just going to try to enjoy the holidays and my friends for the rest of the time I am here.
I'm going on a spiritual retreat this weekend, and am so looking forward to it. It's become a tradition for me these past few years, to get away from my life and examine it from a bit of distance. I went for the first time about 5 years ago when I was in a really dark place. I talked and laughed with a bunch of women that I'd never really knew before and they saved my behind.
Now when I go to the retreat, I spend time with those women, that I don't get to see much in "real" life, and get to remember why I enjoy their company, and how important and influential they have been in my life and sanity.
I also get a chance to read and write and really relax with out feeling like I should be up and doing something. All in all, it's a great thing for me to do.
In fact, I enjoy it so much that I think that every one should try it at least once.
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