A (Not-so) Happy Times Update

It's not that my happiness solely depends on my husband. But obviously, he plays a big part of my life, and the home that we're in together gets its vibe from how we are feeling. I guess I haven't been much into posting because there's not a lot of great news, or because there's no news at all.

I don't mean that it's all a bummer, Gabe and I are still managing to smile and laugh. But not as much as I'm used to! So of course it's a little depressing. He still is in a lot of pain. He's still laying down all day, every day. He's still a little on edge, and although he's not directly taking it out on me, I feel bad that he's so frustrated.

He keeps telling me I'm in charge of morale, which is a good thing! I am typically very upbeat about things. Mostly at this point, I'm frustrated at the lack of progress and I feel totally powerless over the situation. So keeping my morale high can be a little taxing. This sucks way more than I want it to!

And I'm not looking for sympathy, I just thought my 2 readers might be wondering why I'm not saying much lately. All things considered, my life still is blessed and awesome. I just miss my husband! I love it that I'm in such a position to have such a great spouse, that I'm so lucky that usually he'll do anything to get a laugh out of me. This has been a good experience as far as showing me what an awesome dude Gabe is. But OKAY I learned my lesson, can I have him back now please?

As for me, at least I'm still able to get out and do things. Honestly, Gabe wants me to get out of the house and have some fun. He's also probably happy to have me stop hovering!

I've taken up yoga again, YAY! And I've been hiking a bit and on Monday we started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from Episode One... then we watched 2 more. I love that show and it's just so awesome to share it with people who are total BTVS virgins. They don't even know who/what Angel is yet. I love it.

Anyways, that's what's happening in my world lately. We're going to acupuncture on Monday, I'm sure that will help. It helped me when nothing else did. Everyone cross your fingers!

What a Day!

I was in the ER at midnight for my poor hubby and that is how my day began...

I had to work at 5...

Then I went hiking at Bishop's Peak...

Then I took a shower and a nap...

Went to a meeting, somehow didn't fall asleep during the meditation...

Over to a friend's house for a little girl talk...

Home again to make dinner and get ready for bed...

It's not as boring as I made it sound. I just don't have much energy left for creative writing, maybe some other time.

But here, I can show you some pictures. I took the lovely and gentle Kate to Disneyland on Wednesday. So here's some pics from there:
I hope you sleep as well as I plan to tonight!

Conniption

I didn't cut all my hair off... just the bangs. So here's what it looks like:


Yesterday, I had a conniption. It was my first one in a long time and I really wanted to not be having it, but I didn't seem to have any choice in the matter. It had to do with my request for certain days off being completely overlooked and I was SUPER. PISSED. OFF.

Don't they know who I am?!

But I quickly got into action and got it all taken care of. Barring any setbacks with Gabe's situation, I believe I am finally going to Disneyland next week. Even if I have to go myself, which hopefully I don't!

I wish I could've gotten over it that fast. I got so overwrought that I had an emotional hangover for hours! I couldn't shake the anger that I felt. I went on a five mile hike and that finally made me feel better. Then I went to a meeting later which usually does good things to the mood of an alcoholic like myself.

So it's all good. And I really need to work on how I react when I don't get my way.

Quick Pictorial Update

I got bangs: And took a lovely walk with a good friend:

In the very middle of the above picture is Morro Rock. This is such a limited view of what it looks like from up there (top of the Cuesta Pass, east trail). The views are 180 degrees panoramic.

And Here I Am...

... feeling sorry for myself.

Yesterday I was supposed to get a haircut, right? Well, that didn't happen (poor me, right?) because I ended up having to go into the mattress store to cover for my husband's business partner. Who got the nerve to have kidney stones. Supposedly kidney stones are supposed to be worse than childbirth on the pain scale. I forgive, I guess.

So, yeah I didn't get a haircut. But at least I can still walk upright, unlike some people I know. Plus, all I had to do was reschedule, which gives me more time to ponder the change(s) I'm going to make on my hair!

Two people I know are down for the count and I'm still worried about myself. Does the selfishness ever fade?

Once again to the happy side of life, I made two sales today at the mattress store! Woo-hoo! It makes me feel good to contribute to the business.

Plus I have met another LA transplant that seems to be pretty cool. I went to her house yesterday and hung out with her and another lady and they were both nice, but Cristel (the transplant) seems to be just about my speed which is awesome.

So there is some good news to be had, as usual. I would do well to remember that. I guess we all would...

Fizzle

Things did not go as planned for me, which as you may well know I don't handle gracefully. It's not that big of a deal really, and I was happy that I decided to stay home with Gabe. He was in so much pain and pretty much out of commission, unable to walk or stand for any length of time.

I take my mobility for granted I guess. I never thought of the effort required just to stand upright and make myself a plate of food or grab a Diet Coke. To be honest, I go nuts when I'm bedridden. Gabe is much more suited to it than I apparently. He's been laid up pretty much since Christmas and can still manage not to snap at me just because I can walk and he can't. If the tables were turned, I'm not sure I could say the same.

So my trip to LA was cancelled. Disneyland must wait a few more weeks. I'm hoping (again) to go down fairly soon, the 20th or so. I can't say I wasn't disappointed, but I feel I made the right choice to stay and take care of my husband. I couldn't just abandon him there in that bed!

He's on the mend (we think, we hope) finally and seems to be getting around a little better. He's not going to push it, he says, and I believe him because he's pushed it before and ended up worse for it.

I am better too, this whole situation was just getting to me and I was irritated. But he dragged the truth out of me and I feel much lighter. I got my toes done Tuesday (finally, OMG) and am getting a haircut today. I'm not going short, this time.

Ach! I have to go to work now!

Busy Bee

I haven't even had time to post due to being completely busy. I have been working a LOT. I was originally scheduled for a little over 20 hours and then my boss asked me if she could add hours on for me to train some one. I said yes, and that probably put me over thirty hours, although I am a little afraid to count.

So I have been working more than normal, and it's a little more stressful than normal. Due to the fact that I'm training one (sometimes 2!) people and a change-over in the management, it's been a little rough. I have the next three days off which I am grateful for, and Gabe gave me yesterday off from the mattress store.

On top of that: holidays and people visiting. My mother finally showed up on Thursday night, with my godfather in tow. So that was a nice surprise! We went to Solvang and Chumash Casino yesterday.

During this whole week, Gabe has been out of commission because his back is all jacked up! He does a lot around the house, and so I've been trying to keep up a little bit with that too. I'm not doing a very good job, but I've also tried to keep him comfortable and happy. Anyways, enough complaining. Poor, poor me. OVER IT!!!

On a much happier note, I am taking these days I have off to go to Disneyland, finally! I get to hang out at the Park with my lovely friend Kate and even have coffee with some gals tomorrow afternoon. YAY!

We're having some people over tonight for a game night and I'm so tired but I'm looking forward to it! YAY!

Then I'm getting in the hot tub! YAY!