Deeply sleepy

I'm so tired today. It's hard for me to get to sleep on time, considering "on time" would be some where around 9 o'clock. Forget that! The past 8 years at this new position, my hours have gotten earlier and earlier. I am now scheduled to work 6am-2:30pm. Yikes!

I shoot for 10pm but somehow it's always closer to 11 by the time I actually get into bed. Thankfully, once I decide to go to sleep I'm instantly comatose. It's a gift, really.

Now, I'm a night owl and get a hoot (sorry) out of staying up as late as possible. It seems to me I'm going against my very nature by getting in bed anytime before midnight. But because I like to worry about things that haven't happened yet, I've decided to have anxiety about getting to set my own hours.

I have learned to appreciate being up before any one else: no traffic, no lines at the grocery store or mall, clean air and maybe a majestic sunrise or two. I like having a lot of day left when I get off of work. But then again, I probably won't be working anywhere near as much as I do now. So who cares when my day starts and ends?

Me. I am afraid of so many silly things. They're so silly, I can't even tell you about them. Just trust me, they're ridiculous.

What it really is, is that I'm having so much fun and I'm loving life so much that I really want my cake and eat it too. Up early, bed late and then nap during the day. That's what I do now. Unfortunately, I'm not 23 anymore and my body actually shuts down on me and like a donkey refuses to move forward.

So once again, it's all about balance and taking care of myself. I swear this spiritual stuff leaves no stone unturned, no avenue of life unexamined. Thank goodness!