Sailing away

The pity boat has sailed this morning. It all started when I made two phone calls (yes, you read that correctly) and neither one was returned. How dare they be busy or have lives in any way that don't involve calling me back immediately!? It's been at least a week, and I have lost hope that they will be returning the calls. So sad. But do I call them back and remind them that I love them and want to talk to them? Noooooooooo.

Why would I do that when I can take a swim in Lake Sorry-for-Myself?

I feel kind of at a loss right now. Very powerless over my situation, which is never a good feeling. I don't even want to give up but I feel very tired at the prospect of forcing my friendship on people until they realize that it's FUN to be friends with me. Because suddenly I'm not so sure I am that good of a friend.

Now, I know that I am able to hold a mutual conversation, I have a sense of humor, I've read a lot of books and travelled a little. I have actually had an interesting life and am interested in other people's lives and feelings too. I have love and compassion. Yet self-doubt creeps in.

What is a good friend any way? I know what I want in a friend, and what I want to be like as a friend. But who knows what another person's idea of friendship is...

Having said all of that and given this some thought as I type, I have found a bright side to this whole thing... As bad as all of this might seem, at least it's not dating.

Babble

Life is really settling in around here. I'm getting used to my job, my husband seems to be fine and the dog is happy. I was greeted warmly by some one who knew my name at a meeting recently and that felt really good.

It's been over 100 degrees every day so I'm inside most of the time, just like in the winter. But there's a water park close by so I look forward to hanging out there. I think I'm going to make my husband take me on Monday... or maybe tomorrow and Monday. Break out the SPF!!

We had a couple over last night to eat dinner and play games. The guy is a friend of Gabe's and they're very nice. So that was fun... we made a couple-friend! They're bright and funny, and they were really good sports about being spanked at Pictionary.

This weekend is the Tiki event at Disneyland and while technically I could still go, it's just too much. Too much gas money and driving and time, but I do feel bad. I want to celebrate with Giddy and the birthday girl Kate and whomever else might be attending. Damn being a grown up. Gals, if you're reading this, I expect nothing less than a blow by blow report of any and all happenings, events, moments, meals and purchases.

That's all for now. Ta-ta.

Neglect

I feel like I had to blow the dust off of my blog this morning! I've been lazy...

I also haven't taken any pictures recently, as I have no idea how to get them onto my computer now that it's all rebooted. I have all my pictures and music still on there (hooray for Gabe) but every thing else had to be reinstalled. It's all techno-complicated and I can't even stand that so I'll just ignore it for awhile til I really want to show you something.

Work is going well, they threw me on the coffee bar by myself yesterday which was a little daunting. Although I didn't do it very quickly, I did everything right... well at least no one handed a drink back to me. I only had to remake two drinks behind the bar, and that's because I tried to make them at the same time... and promptly forgot which one was which. Oops.

My trip to LA was fantastic and whirlwind. Monday I left town early and got to LA at about 1pm. I went to the mall on Topanga which is a little swank for me (who needs real plates and cutlery in a mall food court? I understand the eco-factor but that's not why they're doing it.) Then I went to see my cousin and her little family, her baby is darling. I wish I could show you a picture but of course I didn't take any.

I got to see many of my friends on Tuesday night, it was a lovefest at the meeting. I feel kind of embarrassed by all the lovin' but at the same time, I am so happy that there are people as happy to see me as I am to see them! One of my friends is pregnant and it's cool to see her in different belly-stages. I wish I would've taken a picture. *sigh*

Wednesday, my cousin Angie and I (we're both named after our maternal grandmother) went to Anaheim for a baseball game in which the Angels came back for a win. So that was a blast. Also no pictures, lame.

Now I'm off for another Starbucks adventure. I'm sure that I'm going to be "training" on how to make cold drinks, although that's pretty much all I did yesterday. Ah, the corporate experience.

Opening shift

Hi, it's early. My shift is 4:15am to 8:45am today. So I am up a little before that so I can be somewhat less zombified by the time I get to work. This time of the morning is so surreal to me. It's a little too late to be up and waaaaaaaaay too early to get up. Typically, I never see 3:45am unless I am tortured by sleeplessness.

Why this early shift, you ask? Right now I'm not sure I have an answer. But it sounded good at the time. Honestly it's not that bad. For some reason getting up at any hour doesn't bug me after I've shaken off the cobwebs. And working part time is practically like being on vacation any way after a decade of 8 hour shifts. Plus, if I get tired: I WORK AT STARBUCKS!

I usually wake up a little before I'm supposed to be somewhere so I can do my morning pages, but for some reason I feel like it's way too early to write 3 pages of anything right now. Besides, when I get home it will still technically be morning for 3 more hours.

But I've got a little time to kill so I thought I'd blog instead. Lucky you... ha!

I'm going to LA today and of course I'm packing in a weeks worth of stuff into two and a half days. Dinner with family, a tour of the Sealy factory, dinner with friends, a meeting, a baseball game in Anaheim, dinner with a friend. I'll probably squeeze in a few coffee sessions with some of my other gals as well. Then I will come home and miss every one again, but be grateful to be with my husband and Rammie.

I like it here

Booklove

Ok this time Kate has tagged me with a book, um, meme. What does "meme" mean? Help.



Total number of books I've owned:

I, like Kate, am a massive book consumer. I have no idea how many books I've owned and cannot imagine a life where I could assess that number with any accuracy. I would say at least a thousand, maybe more.

The last book I bought:

Surprisingly, I have been very good about not purchasing books lately, as I have no income with which to purchase them. The last book I bought was Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer. It is a young adult vampire novel. It's a little too romantic to be in my favorites list, but it's a good series. I almost exclusively read YA and kid fantasy fiction. Because I'm a grown up and I feel like it, that's why!

The last book I read:

I am in the middle of Eclipse right now. Before that I finished up Dead Girls Dance by Rachel Caine. Both YA vampire books. Hmmmm.

Five books that mean something to me:

1. I looove A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. If you started me with the first line of any poem in there, I still might be able to give you a few lines back. Couldn't get enough. The one about the sad clown got. me. every. time.

2. Wicked by Gregory Maguire. You knew that was coming, didn't you? Something about the alternative alternative reality and the exploration of Oz's inner workings... the why of it all. Plus, if I never read it, I never would have seen the musical, which I have fallen even more in love with than the book. I wish anything else of Maguire's was even halfway interesting to me. But the rest of his books are crap. Don't read 'em.

3. The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Sad, but lovely. I'm going to read it again someday when I feel emotionally ready. It's been a few years but it sure hit me hard.

4. The Rule of Bone by Russell Banks. This was significant to my life especially when I read it, because I was getting into a lot of trouble. But the protagonist in this book is digging a hole straight to hell! So I could feel a little better about myself. Plus the guy is an AMAZING writer.

5. Paula by Isabelle Allende. This book breaks my no-non-fiction-please rule because I love Allende and was reading a lot of her. This one got through the cracks. This book made me love my mother in a whole new way.

It's definitely hard to narrow it down to five books out of all that I've read that have touched my life in special ways. Judy Blume made my childhood easier. Stephen King made it scarier. Garth Nix made my adulthood childlike again.

I tag Kat, Miss Bliss and Mary S!

Great, now I'm all emotional and nostalgic... I love to read SO much. If you are at a loss for things to read, please ask me because I've read so many I'm positive you'll love. I've read across a lot of genres. And even if I didn't tag you, tell me what your favorite books are!

Starbucks 101

Yesterday was my first day as an employee at Starbucks. There was some intake papers to fill out (welcome back to corporate America, Angela) and some computer based training to do. I also met some very friendly co-workers and realized how much Starbucks focuses on customer service. Duh. I just thought they were being nice to me because I was nice to them first...

It was really fun and exciting to be there. What an adventure! I'm hoping to enjoy the process of learning and trying new things. This will be a new thing for me, as I am all about results usually. I have faith that I will succeed at being in the moment most of the time, although I'm sure I'll have to be reminded to do it occasionally. Feel free to remind me and thanks in advance.

Plus I got my schedule for the week and I am free over the weekend for the plans that I made!

Life is good and I am grateful.