Happy random Friday thoughts

Ah, spring! I am so happy it's spring-y outside. I am not a cold weather person. One of the ways I knew Gabe was perfect for me was when he said he would never live in a place where it snows. Yes, I make major life decisions based on climate. It's a huge part of life! Don't judge.

Yesterday I went to Ken the Keyboarder's house and we "jammed." That's musician speak for getting together and playing random music. It seems like things are going well. I really like singing, but I'm still a little timid. It's been a while and I'm rusty. Occasionally I'll have bursts of letting go, but it's very vulnerable. I just have to build a little confidence in myself. The only way to do that is to sing more.

So I'll probably take some lessons or some singing classes. It would be optimal to do it in a group setting, to get to know people and also to get used to singing in front of groups again. I'm excited.

Also exciting is that our honeymoon is coming up. We're going to Orlando to explore the Disneyverse. I am doing research like a crazy person, and I'm having lots of fun figuring it all out.

So much fun in fact, that I realize it's been a week since I talked to any of my friends. I have done some emailing and a little instant messaging but I think it's a bad idea to get out of touch with what is still my home base for now, as far as my support network.

Oh, and I need your help again. I am still looking for song suggestions, but now I have more of a focus. I'm looking for pop, standards and easier listening. Stuff that's pretty popular. Think Norah Jones, Colbie Caillat, Michelle Branch. I know it's not exactly thrilling but I'm really able to nail that stuff. And that's what I need to get my confidence up.

Back from Burbank

I had such a good time in Burbank. I'm glad that I stayed longer than I wanted to because I got to hang out with a pair of girlfriends for four hours that felt like 20 minutes yesterday.

We got home about 2:30 this morning and I was so stoked to get to sleep in my own bed. There's no place like home. And this is my home now. It feels weird saying that because so much of my heart is in Burbank still, beating along with my home group and all of my friends.

But the cool thing about people is that we're portable! So all of those people that inhabit Burbank are free to wander up to see us, and of course I'm free to wander down there to see them. I have been talking to my girlfriends more regularly on the phone since I moved and really getting to invest time in friendship. I don't feel forgotten or abandoned as I might have feared.

I went to the women's meeting on Tuesday and my heart was bursting the whole time. It was absolutely exhilarating to be in that room with all that energy just bouncing off the walls. Even though I can't attend regularly, it's nice to know that meeting is pouring all that juice into the universe every week.

And unfortunately I didn't get to hang out with every one that I would have liked to, but I did get to talk a few people's ears off. That was SO MUCH FUN!

To all my Burbank friends: it was great to see you, if only for a few moments. Just your proximity filled my tank. I feel great.

Set List

For those of you interested (hi Mom!) I have put together a little set list of songs I will hope to be singing at a coffee shop near you... er, near me.

Don't Know Why (Norah Jones)
Chain of Fools (I like the Commitments version)
You Don't Know Me (standard)
Fire (Pointer Sisters)
Good Lovin' (the Rascals)
Ain't No Sunshine (Bill Withers)
Heard it Through the Grapevine (Marvin Gaye version)
Stand By Me (Ben E. King)
Moondance (Van Morrison)
Fever (standard)
Bubbly (Colbie Caillat)


and I have 3 Bonnie Raitt songs in contention: Have a Heart, I Can't Make You Love Me, and Thing Called Love.

As you might figure, I loves me some Bonnie. If you know these 3 songs and have a preference please vote.

I love the input I received. Keep it coming. I don't know how much control/input I'm going to have with this duo thing but I love to hear your opinions any way.

Also, tell me what you think of the set list. I know it's kind of generic. I think our goal is to be as vanilla whitebread as possible. Which isn't exactly "sexy" but it will probably get us more gigs. And gig=good!

Crafty!

I liked doing this cross stitch because it required effort and concentration, mixed with some pretty immediate gratification. Plus the message was very Zen, so I didn't feel like I had to hurry up and get to the finished product.

My friend Jennie arrived last night and we don't have any plans but I'm sure something will come out of the day. It's so relaxing up here that it's tempting not to do anything but look out the window and watch the yard react to the sunlight. Still, I'm pretty sure we'll go to Cambria and follow Highway 1 down to Morro Bay, then cut across back home. Maybe this time I'll take some pictures! Duh...

I hope to remember that life is a journey today, and stop trying so hard to arrive at whatever I have decided is my destination.

Scaredy cat!

Yesterday I went to meet a man about a singing/keyboard duo. I would be doing the singing half. Since I haven't performed for a live audience in over 10 years, he's not exactly thrilled with my resume. But he must think I'm halfway decent because he's asked me to do a little song homework.

Since I met him over the internet, Gabe drove me to his house. He came in with me and just got to know the guy, who is named Ken and is, to my great relief, not an ax murderer. Just a dude that's been playing keys for a long time.

Now for those of you who don't know by now, singing is my thing. I've been avoiding it for years for whatever reason, but all my excuses have fallen away, leaving me to either admit I don't really love singing and performing or that I really really do.

This Artist's Way book I have been doing is really helping to pave the way for me creatively. I hesitate to get very airy-fairy about the whole thing but certainly something is happening that this opportunity to sing in exactly the way I want has appeared.

As far as I see it, I'm being given a gift all wrapped up in a neat little package. I love presents! I'll let you know what happens as this unfolds.

Oh by the way, got any favorites? I'd love some comments on your favorite songs to hear at a wedding or small gathering. Standards or contemporary... I'm open. I'm supposed to come up with a few songs and I know sometimes the best ideas come from some one else's head!

Addiction alert!

I've been playing online poker tournaments with play money and I don't know if I'm going to be able to stop. I think I could quit if I wanted to. But really, I don't want to. So I just thought I'd do a little confessing. While I could be out saving the whales and protesting global warming, I am instead hunkered over a computer, agonizing over whether or not my ace is worth 3000 virtual chips with a only a lowly 5 kicker.

Terrible.

And terribly entertaining.

You know what? I'm doing it right now. I mean as I'm typing, not as you're reading this... but odds are good I'm doing it then too.

I wish there was a moral to this story, but that's all I got.

Happy-ish times

I had a short reprieve from my sinus infection. Now I have a pinched nerve. Whooo! Ah, the curveballs of life. Doesn't God know I have plans? Grrr.

The weather has cleared up again and it's not freezing outside. The sun is shining and it's a glorious day. So why do I feel so isolated? It might be because all of my friends are 3 hours away by car. It could be that I'm not putting myself out there enough at meetings or just in general. Possibly I am being too picky on whom I could consider a friend.

I love my husband dearly but I really don't want to depend on him to be my everything. That's a lot of pressure for one person, and as some of you might know: it never works out well. So I feel the need to find friends. I know that it's going to take time and will just happen eventually any way. But I. Want. Some. Friends. Now! Preferably a best friend who totally gets me and has exactly the same interests.

*Sigh*

Ok, back to reality. The reality is I'm lonely. The reality about that is it's totally understandable, even expected to some degree. And that real, true friendships take time and that's that. Did I really think a sunny disposition and a moderately decent sense of humor would have me crowned Miss Central Coast Popularity by now? Maybe a little...

Truth is, I want to be rescued from this feeling. I don't want to have it and I'd like some one to fix me immediately. That's a real problem, that I'd like some one else to step in and make changes instead of taking responsibility. No one is going to wave a magic wand and *poof* some friends into existence for me.

The good news is, I took matters into my own hands about finding a newcomer to work with. I now have a sponsee up here which is awesome. We are going to meet on the first step on Friday. As usual, I am being given what I need exactly when I need it.

Having said all that, I would still call these happy times. I am in a good place every other way than the friend thing. And remembering that that is a temporary situation is essential. I'm not really in a position to complain.