It hasn't exactly been happy times in my head lately, although everything is exactly the same on the outside. I've been trapped in self-pity and it's so ugly that I couldn't stand to spew my junk on all of you... hence the lack of blogging.
I have been dealing with the reality that what people say isn't always what they do. This is not excluding myself, of course. But I understand when I do it! When you do it, I feel disappointed and hurt. And even more dangerously, I start taking it personally. It took a lot of pep talks from my husband to help me get over myself.
Now that that is over, I feel free and ready to blog again! I bet you're relieved...
In happy news, I got an iPhone!! Yay. I've been coveting Gabe's since he got it a year ago and I was finally able to change phones. So I went for it. Now I have a new toy that takes up a considerable amount of my attention. It's so interactive, and even technotarded me can understand it.
I got an AA sponsor up here finally and I think that's going to help me out with the self-pity and just in general. It's nice to feel connected and to have some one to work with. A gal that I went hiking with once keeps coming into Starbucks for a drink and telling me we should connect. YAY! I'm going to call her in the next couple of days and just try to get coffee with her or something.
Yesterday I took a class to become a Starbucks learning coach, so that I can train new baristas. As we were sitting there in the class I realized I was signing up for something that was going to make me "responsible" which is practically a dirty word. But I realize it's something I do very naturally anyway and so I might as well have some official authority behind my "instruction."
Other than that, nothing really exciting has been going on. The holidays are coming which I usually love. I wonder how it's going to be this year, up here away from the party circuit? I'm interested to see what happens, if there are parties and festivities up here or if I'm going to have to make a party myself. Not that I'd mind that terribly.
I can't believe I've been up here for 10 months. Trip.
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3 comments:
I am so glad it is better in your brain! And hurray for signing to be a teacher! I'm sitting here going, "Yah. That actually fits so perfectly I can't even imagine anything that would fit better." You are so gifted at making complicated things things easy to understand and clear. I fully support this decision. HUZZAH!
Cool! I'd say your doing pretty well!
I admire how you really put yourself out there! I've lived on the central coast pretty much my whole life, I can't imagine starting over in a new place (I'm such a homebody now that I have kids). I know we'll have to move sooner or later, with my husband wanting to go back to school and all.
If you can do it, I guess I can too ;)
I get caught up in my own silly brain too! It helps to read these blogs and know I'm not alone.
Oh! Thanks for the B-day wish!
I soooo relate to this. I'm ready to divorce my friends when they don't follow through on doing what they say their going to do. It's sad really, but I immediately go there when someone doesn't follow through. ~sigh~ Then, I have to do take a look at what I'm being driven by. I'd much rather just meditate and have fun! Love watching your journey, and thanks so much for being so open about it.
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