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Yesterday was awesome. I had a good night's rest, followed by a peaceful day. Maybe that would have been disappointing a few years ago. I would have been wanting a party, with streamers and candles and singing... but sitting watching the ocean with Gabe worked juuuust fine.

I got so much Facebook love too! I woke up with a bunch of notification emails and more came in throughout the day. My mom called me at 2:22pm, just like every year. Because that's what time I was born, of course! Good thing I waited til a reasonable time to put in an appearance on April 8, 1976.

Thanks to everyone for love and support all through the year... not just on the one day.

Living in the Moment

Humans are very adaptable. This is an important evolutionary trait for us, to be able to fit into situations quickly so we don't die or at the very least embarrass ourselves socially. Because we adapt so fast, sometimes things that are extraordinary become ordinary way too quickly.

My life is a good example of this! I do a lot of the same things every week, I go to work, I go home, I hang with my husband, I talk to people, I surf the internet, I work out. All fairly normal stuff. Okay, really normal stuff.

BUT!! That itself is a miracle, considering how truly screwed up I was a decade ago. I have slayed some serious personal demons to be the "normal" gal you see before you lately. I try not to forget that it took 10 years of therapy, some medication and a whole bunch of mental, emotional and spiritual housecleaning to get to wake up happy on any given day.

I do wake up happy though, I really do. It helps to remember that everything passes. Feelings, events, people, little doggies... they all pass on and what's important is that you have them while they're happening. Because if you're not living in the moment then you're not experiencing your life.

I'm really trying to live in the moment... I see big things in the future, things I want now. That makes me absent-minded about what's happening today and it blows my opportunity to be of service, to get a good laugh, to be a good friend.

Let's be clear that this miracle of a life is not in any way because of my strong character or willpower or sheer stubborness. I have been given a gift from the universe, I was just lucky enough to open the door when sanity knocked!

Okay, okay... I know these are deep thoughts! But I've been pondering what to write on this blog for a week. And this is what eventually came out when I sat down and logged in. So this is what you get. It's not even what I originally started typing about which is a whole other story!

Rammie

There's nothing like a bit of perspective to stop the whining. I know I've mentioned that my dog died but I'm still feeling sad about it. I tell every one that I can, I feel like it honors her memory. But other things are going on too, and most of them are good. Her death has reaffirmed how wonderful and lovely Gabe is, as a husband and friend, and as a man.

I am really finding my place up here among some women, FINALLY! I have been waiting a long time for that!

Yoga Flirt is really moving in a positive direction, gaining momentum and I feel so special to be a part of it. We had a HUGE event on Friday and a lot of women came and oohed and ahhed and felt the love. It was a bit intense!

Hopefully the job search will be moving in a positive direction fairly soon as well. Remember, if you know of anything I am trying to be completely open to the possibilities. I want challenge and responsibility! Hook me up!

I wish I had time for a more in-depth entry but I have to get to work. Ok, I have time for one more positive afterthought: My jury duty keeps putting me on stand-by. YAAAAAAAAY! Only 3 days left...

Job Search

I can't complain about my life at all. I want to, because whining is one of my favorite hobbies. My life is good because I have a faith that works for me. While I can take blame for a few things, I can take no credit for the coolness that happens to me all the time.

Having said that, life is still a series of events. There are circumstances that are less than perfect and perspective is important if you're going to be of service in the lives of others. I am in a peaceful emotional and spiritual spot right now, which is good.

Because for the first time in my life I am looking for work. I could get really freaked out about this. Starbucks is the only "choice" I ever made as far as the pursuit of a paycheck is concerned. The phone company and my teen job both engulfed me with out much decision-making on my part. There is a little bit of fear that I will make the wrong choice or ruin an opportunity with all the possibilities, the wide open-ness of it all.

I love working at Starbucks and want to continue working there, but unless things move very quickly I don't know what's going to happen. I am keeping myself completely open to the possibilities. The universe usually has bigger plans for me than I do.

The alternative to staying open to the possibilities of things is setting myself up for disappointment. While that used to be another one of my favorite hobbies, I no longer find it quite as interesting. Life is better when you let it happen.

I do have a dream job in my head, several possibilities that would thrill. I believe it's possible to make a living doing something that you love, and that you're good at. I believe I deserve the opportunity to find out what that feels like. I am visualizing it and getting excited about it... while being practical.

Do you like your job? If the answer is "yes" then I'd like to know if they're hiring. And if you'd be willing to give me a reference!

Happy Times Reunion... with myself

I haven't blogged in a long time. Basically after Facebook became my friend. Why post full sentences and paragraphs every couple days when I can constantly update you?

But now that I think about it, it really doesn't matter who reads this as much as it matters that I write it. For my own sake and sanity. I have a really good life and a very strong forgetter...

If you do read it then *hi* and *thanks* and here we go again...

Lately things are going very well. I have no complaints except I'm not working enough. And that will all change hopefully sooner than later and then I'm going to be complaining about working too much. Ahhh, such is life.

I'm finding I have nothing to say on my first post back. I am feeling shy! Well, if you know me at all, you know that won't last for long. So check back soon and hopefully I'll have something interesting to say!

Happy, Home Again.

I was in Burbank for 10 days. That's a long time. While I didn't get much done, I still did a lot of stuff. To prove it, I have parking passes for Dodger Stadium, Disney, Angel's Stadium and the Long Beach Aquarium in my car. Next time I see you, they will still be in my car, so feel free to ask to see the proof.

There was plenty of stuff I didn't get to do. Like see my friends more... I mean I saw them, but not like I do when I'm only in town for a couple of days. It was like I had too much time so I had no sense of urgency. Weird. Anyway, now that I'm back I wish I would've seen more of them.

I did see this cutie a couple times:

Boy is she adorable.

BTW, this guy is pretty adorable too:

He got us great tickets for the game on Tuesday... And he got me the coolest present for my birthday! It's a purse that you changes its shell. So you can always have a different look. YAY!

Here's Cedric at the Dodgers & Angels exhibition game. That was fun, I got to hang out with my cousin... even though the Angels lost...And I saw my cousin again when we went to the Long Beach Aquarium on Friday... we took her nieces so spending time with them was cool too. Then, just to make sure I didn't miss out on the true LA experience, I drove through rush hour (ahem AT 2PM!!!) traffic on the 710, 5 and 101 freeways. Wheee!!

I also went to a choir competition at my old high school and saw some people I hadn't seen in a decade or so. I'm sure I did other things...

At any rate, I'm glad to be home and now I'm going to try to get back into a yoga and hiking routine... Yesterday was my first day back at work and it was a doozy. Easter apparently equals coffee time in this brave new world. We were BUSY!

Ok off to work...

Things and Stuff

Gabe has suffered a relapse with his back pain. It's a full-on relapse: he can't get comfortable, no standing or sitting for long, ice packs and ibuprofen, no driving or having any fun of any kind. He basically has to lay there and suffer. It's really frustrating for both of us, although at least I can walk around the house and grab a coke if I'm thirsty.

I don't want him to have surgery if he can help it, but he just went downhill so quickly. He was fine Tuesday and then BAM! on Wednesday he was hurt. The next day he was completely immobile. So, while it makes me nervous and I have various concerns, I am more open to the idea of him having something radical done to alleviate the pain.

On a much funner note, I tried a new class yesterday. It's called Yoga Flirt, which is code for pole dancing with a yoga twist. My legs hurt. But it was so much fun. A great workout, women only and talking out and laughing is encouraged. I'm also hoping that there will be an opportunity to meet some other women who might not be quite as... straight-laced as most of the women (with some shiny, happy exceptions) I've met up here so far.


One of those shiny, happy exceptions is my old/new friend Bethany. She's really cool and interesting, we had coffee last night and I had to force myself to go home! We went on a hike this week, with Lucas. He slowed us down a lot, and it was awesome. I heard birds and saw things I'd never paid attention to on that trail. Here's a picture of Bethany and Lucas, flying.